Zulu Wedding

 

Bride's best friend and little girl.

 As the weeks fly by we continue to have many and varied experiences. On the March 27th, Kent and I separated. Actually, it was the first time we had been apart for a significant period of time. Kent went with John Hawksbury, a local historian who actually lives in a large restored house that once served as the Boer hospital during the British/Boer was in the late 1800’s, and they went to Rorkes Drift, about 60 miles away. This was the site of British standoff in 1879 where 150 British soldiers held of 4000 Zulu warriors. They were planning a trip  on May 1 when we will visit the site with other members of the Ladysmith Historical Society and our local missionaries. You will hear more about this after May 1st as Kent is becoming rather a fanatic on local history! Anyway, while Kent was away, Chris played, or rather got to stay home and do whatever she wanted. (2 blogs)
   Chris is involved in teaching our branch president’s wife, Mabel Madonsela, how to teach her primary class, a class mixed with children that either speak English or Zulu. A real challenge. This past Tuesday sister Madonsela brought her sister-in-law, Ivy, who wanted to learn to speak better English. I think they have too much fun! The highlight of the week, other than getting haircuts, fasting during our missions 40-day fast, and dealing with trying to find new housing for elders, was attending a Zulu wedding.

The DeKlerks and Tanya and fiance (not the wedding couple) 

Visiting with couples, mission pres & wife and local police chief

   The Dundee branch president and his wife invited us to the wedding of their son who was to marry a Zulu girl. The wedding was at their ranch which was about 200 miles away. They raise bananas, mangos, cattle, tomatoes, and have two stores which serve the local Zulu population. We love this couple. They are down-to-earth humble servants of God. He is Africanns, she is English, having been raised in Zimbabwe. They were gracious hosts and we were honored to be asked to attend. They were almost as much in awe of the events as we were, not knowing what was exactly going to happen.
    This ranch is really in the middle of nowhere. After driving to the turnoff to their ranch we were faced with 20km or dirt road before arriving.
Not sure we would ever get there, but we did and we beat Elder and Sister Brown (who got lost on the way) and President and Sister Thompson (mission president) who also got lost. The wedding was near one of the stores and the locals had gathered by the hundreds. This was apparently a big event and they came from all over the hills to participate. If you think Zulu wards and branches start late (Zulu time they  call it), try a Zulu wedding. We were there probably 2 hours before things started to happen.

They all want their picture taken.

In fact, we only saw the bride as she was dancing and we never saw the bride and groom together, even during what was described to us as the ceremony.

The Kiest and the elders of the village performing ceremony. 

Getting ready by singing and putting on their mud.(sun block?)

  Everyone gathered in a large field and formed a large circle around the “coffin” or "kiest" that contained the bride’s personal belongings that were now moved out of her parent’s house. (Darcy are you reading?)  

  Some of the young men dressed in Leopard costumes and the young girls dressed in, well, some in bead dresses with bra tops, and some without tops (National Geographic style).

The bride was in the former group. You can tell the bride in the photos because she is the one with the hat and fox tails attached to her body and beads across her face.

This is the only pic of Bride(wearing hat giving towel to groom.) 

 These two groups danced in a “congo line” in the middle of the circle singing and kicking their legs high (which was to represent the bride’s virginity to her mother). Not sure why since the bride and groom had been living together for some time.

 

Groom's best friend.

The Go Go’s (grandmother types) danced and wailed, some waved branches continually which were to represent the departed spirits of the ancestors.

  At some point the elders, who were always in main court, spoke some words and someone told us they were now married, he on one side of the circle, she on another.

No beef-couldn't do it!  Kent thought it was tough!

Lots of rice, smash, and butternut.  

  As the festivities continued it was getting late and the “kitchen staff” offered to feed us separately before we left. We did get to eat some of the three cows that were butchered for the event, some chicken, beetroot, and chakalalka. All quite good.  I don’t think that the three cows were part of the seven cows that the groom used to buy his wife.  We brought our own Coke lites, but someone wanted them more than us and had previously removed them from our ice chest.

Can you see the cows head?

We were called back at some point to the cow corral for the giving of the gifts. The brides family gives every person in the DeKlerk family even the grandchildern, a blanket with extra presents going to the parents- like a set of dishes. We sat in chairs while grass mats covered cow patties for the presents and presenters.

  Sister DeKlerk and her daughter wanted some semblance of an “anglo wedding” and baked a cake and had her daughter decorate it professionally. We stood in a Zulu "tuck" shop putting lavender frosting roses on a wedding cake. It seemed a little incongruent! We had to leave before it was cut. Ordinarily these events take 3 days to complete but we were told that they stuffed everything into one because of out of town family.

My feelings about this experience were through the lense of someone who had just studied her scriptures and conference talks for her lessons about temple marriage. I was saddened to think that some of our going out African Elders and 1 returned African missionary that I have interviewed on the subject wants to follow the tradition of the fathers. The reason that is so bad, is that they choose to wait till they have enough money to pay the Lebola or "bride price", and it takes them years . They end up living with their bride, having children and losing their membership. They sell their soul for this pageantry and not a temple marriage.
We arrived home at 9pm and have been trying to sort this out in our minds since. This helps.